The simple pleasures
“Pleasure is the object, duty and the goal of all rational creatures.”
Voltaire
It’s strange the things that trigger our memory. I was watching a film set in Paris the other night and it reminded me of a conversation I had many years ago with a French lady, when I was just 17.
Her philosophy was refreshing; she considered that much of the enjoyment in life could be found in simple pleasures – a delicious meal, the sun in the morning. In particular, I remember her talking about the sheer pleasure of rinsing her hands, the warmth of the water, how it felt against her skin. Much of what else she said has, alas, been forgotten with my teenage self, but her exquisite description of the pleasure of washing her hands left an indelible impression.
Looking back, I think this woman instinctively knew what positive psychology had yet to articulate – appreciating the richness and sensuality of life can tangibly enhance our experience of living. It can alter our mood and expand our outlook. A walk in the park in the autumn sun, the bitter taste of rich dark coffee in the morning, laughing with friends – this is the stuff of life that opens our minds and in a sense, makes us lighter.
Barbara Fredrickson’s research on positivity (2009) offers empirical support for this view. She suggests that positive emotions are literally good for us enabling us to extend and develop our social and psychological resources. Interestingly, her research findings suggest that for every negative emotion we need at least 3 positive ones in order to flourish. A tipping point of 3:1. And in a way this makes sense to me as most of us have a tendency to overweight the negative perhaps not paying enough attention to the good things.
On a practical level, there are things we can actively do to redress this imbalance of overweighting the negative. We can be more mindful, noticing what’s around us, focusing on the here and now. There’s also a useful little exercise called ’3-Good-Things’ designed to direct attention and focus awareness on the positive (Seligman, 2011). As the name suggests, it entails writing down on a daily basis 3 good things that happened each day for a week accompanied by a brief note as to why they were good.
Reflecting and writing about what has brought you pleasure each day becomes habitual. I now do it all the time. Somehow I think I manage to squeeze some extra pleasure out of the event by simply remembering.
To become aware of the good things in life is to begin to appreciate them.
References:
Fredrickson, B. (2009). Positivity. NY: Crown Publishers.
Seligman, M., (2011). Flourish, Nicholas Brealey Publishing.
